Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
