sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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