I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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