Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
