Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Sext me about skeletons
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
