Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
