I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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