Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
