dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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