i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
