just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
