I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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