You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
And then my night got REAL pukey
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
