I think scott just propositioned me for sex
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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