She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I've blown a few things in my day
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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