i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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