I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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