she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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