Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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