omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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