He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize