Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
