I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
