We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
