Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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