He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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