No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
