Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
