If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
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My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
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I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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