..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
