i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
