This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
