you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
