I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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