If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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