drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize