the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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