So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Are my feet made of real feet?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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