hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
