your parents love me but you hate me
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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