I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize