what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
