You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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