What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
