I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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