you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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