We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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