Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
