Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
