what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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