What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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