She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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