That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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