Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
